The day before, I had a conversation with a 26 year-old young banker...
Last night, I went to see a show by TNS - Balek Kampong
Now, my mind is jammed with emotions and questions...
In the cosy environment at a bar, I was introduced to a 26 year-old young banker - Smart-looking and bright, sociable and pretty chatty... The conversation turned a bit 'serious' when I said...
Me : I don't like Singapore... I don't like to stay in Singapore...
Man : Why?
Me: Well, too many restrictions, too fake...
Man : Isn't restrictions good for the country?
Me : (Look at him in silence, then grin - was a bit high on alcohol)
Man : Yah! If not for that, we will be very unstable!
Me : Unstable?... Hmm, but Singapore is 'dead'.
Man : Singapore is one of the, if not, the most stable country in the World! We have the most stable economic market and political situation!
Me : Well, it's not that I don't care about our economic market... But... We don't talk, we don't discuss, we don't think anymore...
Man : What else for us to think?! Have a good job, don't commit any crime, get your CPF to buy a house, work hard, we have no natural disaster! (Not like Japan!) Rules are good! That's why we have low crime rates!
Me : ... You know, when I first saw a 'strike' on the street of Hong Kong, I then suddenly realized how ignorant I am for so many years! I feel like I was being kept in a 'box'! I was moved by the power...
Man : Aiyah, that's why their stock market goes up and down! You won't like that (the strike) if you have to face that every other week...
Me : Yes, I may not like it... But it will make me think... And the city is 'alive'!
Man : Yah... yah... You are being too emotional!... Well, I guess the Moon is always rounder on the other side!...
Me : (Stare at him)
Me : So you love Singapore very much I guess?
Man : Of course! Singapore is good!
Me : What will you do if Singapore is in war?
Man : Do? Do what? Singapore's so small, just one bomb enough lah! No choice lor, take the money and go overseas! But, by then we probably can't get our CPF... Hahaha...
Last night, I went to see 'Balek Kampong' by The Necessary Stage. Totally moved by the play! All three actresses were fantastic in their interpretation/delivery of their roles. Then It makes me think of the conversation from the previous night...
There were lines in the play that sounds SO familiar!!... Because I have asked myself those questions... time and time again...
I realized that I am shy to admit that I am Singaporean when I'm overseas... 'I am Singaporean' - Such a difficult statement to say! Why?
Patriotism is like a religion. You must have faith! I have no religion. Am I free to choose other religions? What if I choose other religions? Am I betraying the 'supposed' religion that I'm 'supposed' to be 'born into'?
Is the Moon really rounder on the other side?
I would really love to have my own 'Kampong'. A place that I could call it 'My Kampong', and be proud of it! A place where I can show it to the World - How beautiful is my Kampong!
I know I will someday leave the country and stay elsewhere...
My mind is jammed. I am being emotional. I need my Zyrtec...
